Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Brainstorming bulan puasa & berangan dalam kereta…

While I was stuck in a jam from Kelana Jaya to TTDI, on the way to buka puasa just now, I berangan. That was not the first time… In fact I berangan all the time. Sometimes the berangans were just so real sampai boleh menangis… Betul…

And today my berangan (oh yes, for the uninitiated, berangan is something like a fantasy, or a make believe situation or just simply dreaming) was about -- what if all of the sudden I have a fan out there who just adores me for who I am (gemok, berbulu, hitam, loud, repulsive, ada sinus sikit tapi best giler dan akai boleh pakai wai…) and decided to transfer 1 billion ringgit into my account.

And I smiled all the way to Taman Tun and tried hard to wipe off the smile when I met Papa Khalid. Oh well… Papa Khalid (who is so used to my kepala tak betul) wouldn’t even ask me why I senyum ledor-lebor.

Anyway what would I do with the money:

1. Continue to live in a small studio apartment with rental like RM1,200 per month -- I can’t manage big space.

2. Renovate the place so that it would be 75% kitchen and 25% sleeping and work area. Why kitchen? Coz I just miss cooking so much.

3. Continue driving my Perodua Kembara tapi tukar CD player kepada yang lebih canggih supaya kengkawan tak komplen apasal tiba-tiba volume jadi max lepas tu senyap.

4. Open a small café yang jual sambal – Only sambal (of course lah ada nasi and ulam). On the menu will be sambal udang, sambal sardine, sambal sotong, sambal kerang, sambal ketam, sambal ayam and sambal ikan bilis. Mee goreng semua tak der. The place will be known as Sambal Suhaimi (SS… oklah syok sendiri – like masturbation).

5. Invest the rest of the money in some financial instruments with good returns and travel like 3 times a year and write about my travels and buat buku travel.

6. Buat my own TV channel on the internet or on this blogspot. Semalam I tried to upload my video tapi sound pulak tak der. Trying to figure out apasal…

7. Sedut lemak kat dagu, chest and waist and be forever comel walau pun hilang sensation kat tempat-tempat tu (but what for? I don’t need to impress no one).

8. Pergi operation buang stretch marks kat punggung. Razin said, lelaki, mana ada stretch marks beb.. Abis yang aku ada stretch marks menimbun ni apa hal? And last time I checked gua lelaki beb, apasal ada stretch marks? (but what for? Siapa nak pergi inspect punggung I… hmmm).

9. Buat hair transplant kat tempat receding aristocratic hairline. Sakit tak? (but what for? Jugek botak nampak ok jer…In fact ada kata sexy wor..)

10. I guess that’s all kot… I am low maintenance..


Before that, we had a brainstorming session at the office. Brainstorming bulan puasa ni ada manyak susah worr.. Yang tak hisap rokok takleh concentrate.. Yang tak cukup gula dalam system lagi fening-fening.

So in the end we ended up smiling and keluarlah kata-kata:

“Su, your proposal ok lah tu..”
“Looks Ok. Your call”
“We can always count on you for a terrific proposal”.

And I said, “sebelum aku telanjang (which is supposed to mean sebelum aku mengamok) baik kau point out mana yang tak best dalam proposal ni?”

Moral of the story.. bulan puasa quota berfikir cuma from morning to 2 pm. But morning means different things to different people. To some people at my opis, morning means, bila depa sampai opis… ada 9 am, ada 11am ada noon… suka hati jer..
After reading this they might just use the following script:

Line Mereka: Cek mi sindir kita ker?
Line Gua: Eh tak marahlah, nanti kena jual.

Anyway, yesterday’s buka puasa was great. 4 generations of budak kolek (MCKK old boys) got together and cerita benda-benda mengarut over Tom Yam, Ikan Tilapia with Special Thai Sauce and Kung Pao Chicken and lots more:

1. Me (class of 79).
2. Razin (class of 81).
3. Kichi (class of 96).
4. Rizal (class of 2000).
5. Yes…we miss you Morkymoqq (class of 96).


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